We are so grateful for the opportunity to tell you about our
family. We are the Moore Family. In our picture you will see Jason, Amy, Eli
(17), Eden (13) and Owen (11). And not with us in the picture, but always with
us in our hearts, is our Jonah Thomas.
We lost our
Jonah over 12 years ago now, which is really hard to believe that much time has
passed. Although it has been many years, the details surrounding my pregnancy
and the loss of our son is still as clear and fresh as if it happened
yesterday. So it goes with such precious events in our lives.
My
pregnancy with Jonah started with much joy.
We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant. Our first two
children Eli and Eden had come after many years of infertility, treatments,
doctor’s visits, tests, etc. This pregnancy came as a very welcomed surprise.
All had
gone well early in my pregnancy. We welcomed each milestone with excitement, so
eager to add to our young family. We heard the baby’s heartbeat time and time
again at each doctor’s appointment (the very best sound in the world). I had
even started to feel the fluttering of movement (my very favorite part of
pregnancy).
I remember
that year being so anxious to get through the holiday season because I knew
that would bring us to the time of our 20-week ultrasound. A few days before
that scheduled ultrasound, I was taking down the Christmas decorations and had
a distinct feeling that something was not right. I talked to a few family
members and they reassured me all was well. But I just couldn’t shake that
feeling. When Jason got home later that day I told him we needed to head to the
doctors office before it closed just to make sure everything was alright. I
called ahead and they told us to come in.
I remember
arriving, thanking the sweet nurse and apologizing for any inconvenience I had
caused at the end of their day. The nurse was so kind and recommended we listen
to the heartbeat to calm my nerves until the scheduled ultrasound in couple of
days. I remember sitting there as the nurse searched and searched for a
heartbeat that was not to be found. I remember trying to stay calm as concern
filled her eyes and my husbands as an ultrasound was recommended. As we learned
our baby had passed away, the next few hours became a blur of emotion: sadness,
fear, pain, denial, anger, helplessness, devastation and an overpowering love
for this sweet boy we had lost.
In the
delivery room the love, sorrow, calm and peace were overwhelming as we welcomed
and said good-bye to our sweet Jonah Thomas all at once. I was so grateful to
be surrounded by my Jason, my sweet sisters and both of our Dads. They mourned
with us and also stood as witnesses of this strong spirit that had become a
part of our family. The time we were able to spend with him are moments I keep
closest to my heart, sacred and sweet.
As the
years have passed, I can honestly say there has not been a day that I have not
missed our boy. The sting of our loss has lessened, this is a blessing only
heaven can bring, but what has grown stronger with the passing of the years is
my tremendous gratitude for this special part of our family… our guardian, our
constant reminder of good, our angel baby, our strong boy, our Jonah Thomas.
I am
honored to be able to run today for all of these angels – an outward expression
of what is always in our hearts.
Jonah
Thomas – we miss you, we love you always….
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