The Bockholts have participated in the Running with Angels 5K in the past, and I am honored to have them join us again this year. I am also simply in awe of all they have experienced with their sweet angel children. Here is their story:
In early spring of 2013 we found out we were expecting our third child. Excitement and nervousness overwhelmed us. Our second baby was a complicated pregnancy, rendering Krystal on hospital bedrest for a month, and then our baby coming early at 29 weeks. He spent 5 months in the NICU, almost 2 years on oxygen, and 3 years with a feeding tube. However, we felt that after everything we went through with him, we could handle any type of pregnancy given to us.
In May, about a week before Mother's Day we went in for our 20 week ultrasound anxious to put our fears at rest. The entire pregnancy we felt something was off, not quite right. Our fears were unfortunately confirmed as the doctor explained to us that our sweet baby had a life-limiting condition called Bilateral Renal Agenesis, also known as Potter's Syndrome. Our sweetheart had no kidneys, no stomach, and no bladder. Because of the lack of kidneys our baby also wasn't able to produce any amniotic fluid and so the lungs were unable to develop. We also found out that our baby's heart wasn't working right either. We knew that any amount of time we were blessed to have our baby with us was truly a gift from God. We also decided that regardless of our baby's condition, this was OUR baby, and we chose love, and chose to continue the pregnancy as long as possible, knowing our baby could easily not survive long in the womb, possibly not even through a birthing process, and if we made it that far, lung failure would cause our baby to pass away quickly.
At 30 weeks, July 16th, 2013, contractions started and we went to the hospital to say hello and goodbye to our sweet baby. We gave birth to a perfect little boy we named Kale Link Bockholt. He was here on earth for a little over 30 minutes, during which time he was able to meet his older sister and brother, and was shown nothing but love. He was held his whole life. We were so blessed to have been working with Angel Watch and we were able to get many many photos of Kale, and have casts done of his perfect hands and feet.
Fast forward a year and our family walked for the first time in the Running with Angels event in memory and honor of our sweet Kale and the impact he made on our life and in our family. We love and miss him dearly.
A few weeks after the event, we found out we were expecting again. We were getting our 'rainbow' baby. The emotions felt through a pregnancy after a loss are indescribable unless you have gone through it before.
We went to our 20 week ultrasound at the high risk office because of our history. The first thing we saw on that ultrasound was there was no fluid around our baby. Our doctor confirmed that this baby also had Potter's Syndrome and we had to go down this heart-breaking road all over again. Shock does not even begin to describe how we were feeling. We had been told with our son Kale that it was most likely a fluke while he was developing, that only about 1 in every 10 thousand babies have Potter's Syndrome. At this point though, we learned we were probably one of the very few people who have a genetic link; that we each must carry a recessive gene that combines to cause Potter's Syndrome. Generally speaking the risk of a second baby with Potter's is about 1 in 100 million. Lightning striking in the exact same spot twice. Practically unheard of.
Having walked this path before we knew the steps we had to take, we knew the outcome of this story. And we again chose love for our sweet baby. Krystal carried our angel baby until almost 33 weeks. On January 8, 2015 our darling Miranda Dawn Bockholt joined our family. She looked so much like her brother Kale, it was uncanny. She too was surrounded by family and held her whole life. A little over an hour after her birth she joined Kale, and I'm sure he gave her a giant brotherly hug. Perhaps he gave her a noogie, while she boasted at spending twice as much time on Earth as he did.
We love both Kale and Miranda immensely, and miss them with a fierceness that most cannot comprehend. Half of our hearts are here with our two living children, and half of our hearts are with our angel babies. The opportunity we have to honor them and share their brief lives and stories with others is a bittersweet gift. But nothing makes a parent happier than to talk about their children, whether they are in their arms, or in their hearts.
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