We are so grateful for the opportunity to tell you about our family. We are the Moore Family. In our picture you will see Jason, Amy, Eli (17), Eden (13) and Owen (11). And not with us in the picture, but always with us in our hearts, is our Jonah Thomas.
We lost our Jonah over 12 years ago now, which is really hard to believe that much time has passed. Although it has been many years, the details surrounding my pregnancy and the loss of our son is still as clear and fresh as if it happened yesterday. So it goes with such precious events in our lives.
My pregnancy with Jonah started with much joy. We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant. Our first two children Eli and Eden had come after many years of infertility, treatments, doctor’s visits, tests, etc. This pregnancy came as a very welcomed surprise.
All had gone well early in my pregnancy. We welcomed each milestone with excitement, so eager to add to our young family. We heard the baby’s heartbeat time and time again at each doctor’s appointment (the very best sound in the world). I had even started to feel the fluttering of movement (my very favorite part of pregnancy).
I remember that year being so anxious to get through the holiday season because I knew that would bring us to the time of our 20-week ultrasound. A few days before that scheduled ultrasound, I was taking down the Christmas decorations and had a distinct feeling that something was not right. I talked to a few family members and they reassured me all was well. But I just couldn’t shake that feeling. When Jason got home later that day I told him we needed to head to the doctors office before it closed just to make sure everything was alright. I called ahead and they told us to come in.
I remember arriving, thanking the sweet nurse and apologizing for any inconvenience I had caused at the end of their day. The nurse was so kind and recommended we listen to the heartbeat to calm my nerves until the scheduled ultrasound in couple of days. I remember sitting there as the nurse searched and searched for a heartbeat that was not to be found. I remember trying to stay calm as concern filled her eyes and my husbands as an ultrasound was recommended. As we learned our baby had passed away, the next few hours became a blur of emotion: sadness, fear, pain, denial, anger, helplessness, devastation and an overpowering love for this sweet boy we had lost.
In the delivery room the love, sorrow, calm and peace were overwhelming as we welcomed and said good-bye to our sweet Jonah Thomas all at once. I was so grateful to be surrounded by my Jason, my sweet sisters and both of our Dads. They mourned with us and also stood as witnesses of this strong spirit that had become a part of our family. The time we were able to spend with him are moments I keep closest to my heart, sacred and sweet.
As the years have passed, I can honestly say there has not been a day that I have not missed our boy. The sting of our loss has lessened, this is a blessing only heaven can bring, but what has grown stronger with the passing of the years is my tremendous gratitude for this special part of our family… our guardian, our constant reminder of good, our angel baby, our strong boy, our Jonah Thomas.
I am honored to be able to run today for all of these angels – an outward expression of what is always in our hearts.
Jonah Thomas – we miss you, we love you always….